"Hell hath no fury like a bean gone bad"....read on

I can't apologize.
I won't apologize
I can look back on the recent past and say I don't regret it

What happened happened 

Crazy as it is.

I cared for someone immensely,

and that is all I can ever hope to do

Some song. Ah.
Well I figure I need to change. I have changed I guess to some degree but I need to turn that away from the direction it is heading. I plan on doing a few things. Going to write more. I haven't done that in a while. I might have plans for the military because I need to get away from all of this rediculousness. Plus it is dangerous. I want to throw myself right out there.  No lie. A blunder no doubt. Not for support of country or politics. But just because. Maybe I'll come home with some sort of trauma. Then who changed? Certainly I will have. Then maybe I'll have some sort of vestige of respect. I plan on this. I really am.
But no one will know when I go. Just one day arise and be gone. If I go down in action you can read about me in the paper. Or I can come back with a sorbid aboumt of tales.


Oh and less drinking. It isn't that I do it a lot. But just in general. Like less than once a week with friends. I started to see this girl. Not seeing yet. But it seems to go somewhere. Really swell. Funny and nice. She told me she would kick someones ass for assaulting me. That assured me. But that wasn't important. it is Mel's and Ricky's younger sister.  Closer to my age then Mel. But yeah....  Go for broke. I am throwing myself into this. I'm sick of living like this.  I have a bible. It was from the trunk of my car. It was given to me by an acquaintence who thought that with all of my personality and shit that I do that I could use one. I don't know why. In the trunk of my car I was cleaning out my possessions. I crashed so bad that the frame was twisted and the trunk would not open. So I was in the back seat reaching through the seat pulled down and pulling out stuff in the trunk. I pulled out a bible. how funny.

Oh shit fuck
I laugh
What good do they see?
What the fuck do those people want from me?
Apparently I am not the same person anymore
I don't know that. I really don't.
I am no longer a credible source.
I just hear about myself these days.
Just as I am and should be.
But as evident they are looking for the person I was.
I can't tell the difference.
A monster mutation of "that guy"
What's so different now?
You tell me.

You shot Me
Your version of a Bop Gun
You've Changed me
Thanks

Funky ass hair. I put my head back and move it back and forth. It feels good. Swaying back and forth it feels light and airy. I feel good.

It isn't funny. Why am I laughing. I am not laughing at anything per se. But I am just laughing. Ahhh haaa ahhhh haaaa. I looked down at myself kneeling on the floor and laughed at myself laughing. About what? I don't have a clue. It is infectious I hear.

I am cleaning my room right now. There are a few bottles of red wine. empty of course. I am throwing them out, who needs them? I have a few more cans of beer in the fridge. Why not I say? What's a few? Nothing I say. Exactly I know. Who cares, not me. Jessica? Maybe, Others? Maybe. Not me, not me, not me. 4 more cans of beer.


Forget it, I am going to leave them alone. Lord knows I need to wake any more people up tonight. No beer for me I decide.

I am laying here and lost in thought. In the last month or two I have been dragged and used, yelled at and such. I felt bad for most of that. I felt needed and important.. It is funny, I was given things that i needed. Haha. But it's cool. I got fucked with and now I have some stuff to think about.

I am going to look at a car today. I am hoping this is the one. Buick park Avenue. An old man's car essentially. Fitting I think. I am going to be gone soon after I get it given no major mechanical problems. 2 or 3 days. Might go out of state, not sure yet. Just going to drive for a bit. Anyone have an idea?  Or maybe I will not tell any of you. No one will know. You all may find out at a later date. But for the most part it may be a mystery.

Two days ago I was working on cleaning my room when I went to look out the window. I notices some black dots on it so I went closer. Upon reaching the window I discovered that there were tons of ladybugs just hanging out on the screen. I have a few pictures that aren't great but you get the idea. I counted and figured that there was about 18 ladybugs just chilling out on my window. Given there were probably others that I couldn't see around the frame. But it was wild. I heard that they were good luck. The lady bugs have come for me.

A few people called me last night. Very late. I don't know what they wanted necessarily. But they called and both were very glad I answered. I have to say why wouldn't I? But why'd they call? Neither stated why.

I might be getting a car within the week. When i do I am gone. No one will know where I am. I mean you can call me and all. I will talk to you. But I am gone. Something dangerous might happen. Something stupid. But I am gone...

With love.
Later Days
Karl Edward Schmidt II

The mutton chops are gone. The chops are gone

:/


Update picture soon.

Welllll. What is new? I don't know. I am looking for a car and my friend Ricky (Melanie's brother) and his fiance took it upon themselves to help , me look which was nice and I found one of the cars interesting. They also picked me up from school and I paid them a sum of money and got to play with their son for a bit. I gave him a 5 dollar bill because that was the only one of the bills he could say.
I am about ready to stab Melanie's eyes out. Not that I am involved with her. but just out of stupidity.  Why the fuck did she call me today? I don't need to hear from her. Nor is it helping. I'd rather know why the fuck she is talking to me at all. I am going to find out soon. It kinda needs to be known for my sanity. What does she want from me. I don't know. Anything i want from her is long gone because what I want isn't as simplistic as all that. So anything I don't want her to try and use me again. So fuck off. Checking on me, bullshit.

Hanging out with Jessica later today after I get out of school. Niiice. She'll drive me home. maybe we'll go out to dinner or something nice like that. Anything to enjoy the company of one another. So it should be good. We planned it out either Monday or Tuesday. I postponned Monday to Tuesday because of Mel's birthday thing but  I said fuck it and didn't go because. Well I was invited by her and said she would love me to be there. But I wasn't told what time and then I never got called back so it was just kind of a "fuck it, I'm in the dark again." So i should have done something Monday with Jessica. But Tuesday works as well.
I met a nice guy at some bar tonight. We were spectators in some conflict. I had a cocktail and he had a beer. We talked for a good while and exchanged names and wished we ran into each other another day. I think his name was Adam or Allen. I will recognize him. I appreciate stuff like that. Not just some radom ass people but people that are interesting and have struck a conversation with me, something meaningful and then we wish to meet again. So on so forth.

Any questions from the peanut gallary?

Some places just shouldn't exist. As they do not being imaginary and all.

Fuck. I saw a car today. On Craigslist. I am going to snatch this up quickly if i can. 86 coupe Deville Cadillac.
And I am not going to be a dumbass next time. I killed buzzbomb single handedly. The cops know it. My family worried. But more than anything my best friend in the whole world and her mom, they are dear to me, were scarred to death because they heard but didn't hear from me until a little while after. Melanie gave me her word that she would personally beat my ass if I did that again. I hate crashing cars. Fucking rain.
Boy I want to be a father. It may be a bad thing now. But I do. blah blah blah.  But eventually i do. I want to be with someone important to me. Hold dear. Someone I can call a close friend. With all that in mind I know, there are plot holes but I don't want to explain myself fully right now.

I gotta shave my fucking sideburns off. They are rediculous right now.

I cut my hair, everything is normal. Copacetic right?I change my hair and it is all right so I am all cool. What do I do? just one more and I am groovy.

-Karl Edward Schmidt. II

We walked back from the store. It was a few minutes after two. Fridgid. She was eating cheetos as we walked. I declined even though I was told they were delicious I called her an asshole and took my jacket and put it around her. She didn't say anything but she just looked cold. After some minor chatter about her brother and stuff she started saying "You like me you like me you like me!" I said i had no comment but that I might push her over. She said that her brother would kick my ass but took that back because she said he really likes me. But after asked me what I would do after I pushed her over. I told her that I would pick her up immediately and apologize in ernst. She asked "Then what? Then what? huh?" I was flabergasted and said "I don't rightly know what i would do," she said "Kiss me?" and it was instantaneous that we moved in and kissed each other. It was intense and necessary. After a break I told her that she tasted like Cheetos. She laughed and said sorry. I didn't mind.


Later into the morning.

She said that i had a very handsome face. Movie star quality. I sat across from her and watched her intently as she told me of these things. I was told that glances were stolen from me on many many occasions when I was least expecting it. I was hearing the over articulation on that statement about my face. Very nice. "Ha" I said. I walked past her on my way to the refrigerator and asked if I had nothing else to offer. Of course not I was assured. I was looked up and down. I continued to the refrigerator and was ass grabbed. "Huh" I thought out loud. All though this information was fed to me on her own accord I was told that something should be done about the mutton chops. The mohawk. Not very attractive. With all that temporary facial hair aside I was still at her attention. My crazy ass hats were enough to supplement my funk, she said that they were different. Very different. At a cross road dilemma I asked what I had in return to doing this. She said herself for one. Seems like a fair trade. But I looked at her and said I think we can come to a compromise and told her to shave off her left eyebrow.

Pictures from the shit-storm.
Those are my glasses from where I hit the steering wheel.

And that is the rest of the car. I mean all the dark grey spots are where i wall scrapped all along and painted the barriers white. And some other stuff you can see. That cracked window part was right in front of the drivers seat.


Buzz Bomb is dead
:[

Had an accident yesterday. Well early this morning. I would say about 2 something in the morning?
Hydroplaned. I was going through and underpass that has a very smooth turn. It was raining pretty bad in the city of Rochester. The way it was designed was that there were cement pillars in the center and the sides. Cement barriers separated the sidewalks and the two lanes. As I turned the car gave out because it lost traction in the rain. My car was crappy anyway. Jutted a little when I turned tightly and stuff. Exacerbated the whole thing anyway. I fishtailed and hit the cement barrier. I went up a bit and was about 45-50 degrees and also grazed one of the pillars too.  After that the car came back down and I whipped forward and hit the steering wheel with my head. Well it didn't leave a bruised or anything. But it did smash my glasses. The a little of the center piece of the left frame was missing and sent my lens to I don't know where. Luckily I had an eye appointment 8 hours later... Whiplash? I don't think so. Well after coming down the car fell into the other barrier. Coming to a stop. I sat there just thinking about what happened. Where are my glasses? What do I do? Where do I go? I called several people.  I talked with the cops for a while telling them my story. I eventually was good then as we waited for the AAA to come we talke some more. They took me to the gas station where my friend was waiting. Another cp car that was there drove by and out of the loud speaker did the whistling that was my ring tone because it kept going off where we were talking. It was funny and cool at the same time. I don't know what I am missing. Ask questions?

We'll things are all good now.  Any questions?
A few Man Pow-wows are going to happen soon with my friend Ricky which will result in further knowledge in things man?! I think it involves being thrown into the woods in my underwear and a knife....
Well it is Ricky's birthday today, well Tuesday. Which is today. His sister and I put in for a bottle of Jameson Whiskey for him. A little pricey. But it's all good, I put in ten and she 30.









"We're all close the to the end. Don't you need a friend?"