"Hell hath no fury like a bean gone bad"....read on

"Oh my beloved ice cream bar, how I love to lick your creamy center. And you're oh so nutty chocolate covering. You're not like the others, you like the same things I do. Wax paper, en foiled football leather, dog breath, we're not hitchhiking anymore, we're riding."
"Stop it, you're talking crazy"
"Oh no, I know what you want, you coveted my ice cream bar."
"Come on now"
"No you don't. You can't take it from me now, I've had this ice cream bar since I was a child. People always trying to take it from me, why won't they leave me alone!"
"Easy now"
"BACK OFF MAN! Don't make me use this, I'm warning you. Now you've done it, you've forced me to use it. I'm hurting"

 I hate Mac. I hate Mac Accessories. I hate Ipods.

What does all of that tell you about me? That I hate the freaking Apple Store.

Gosh, I will murder the next scenester that takes a picture in the apple store and posts it somewhere. I am starting to believe that scenesters are the next yuppies. They are the child remnants of the yuppie explosion of the 80's and the oh so versatile 90's yuppies. And why the hell are all these damn kids buying ipods in the first place? It's a waste of money and I am sure that the price is making the fat pigs at Mac so happy with the replacement costs and warranties a total rip off. But it's the pictures I hate the most. Seeing those kids in there happy and free. And these are kids that are my age too. I think the main appeal is much like the Mac commercials where they spout their amenities but refuse to state their most blatant and important faults like crappy software compatibility. And the kids are buying into the appeal like it's applesauce because the store itself looks like a heartless steel building that makes it seem so impersonal but finds it easy to hire 20 employees to watch one person and also security wire down all the display products. I guess the store itself has that smooth sexy appeal that people get off of. I guess if I had the money I would trade functionality for style anyday.

 I hate Mac. I hate Mac Accessories. I hate Ipods.

What does all of that tell you about me? That I hate the freaking Apple Store.

Gosh, I will murder the next scenester that takes a picture in the apple store and posts it somewhere. I am starting to believe that scenesters are the next yuppies. They are the child remnants of the yuppie explosion of the 80's and the oh so versatile 90's yuppies. And why the hell are all these damn kids buying ipods in the first place? It's a waste of money and I am sure that the price is making the fat pigs at Mac so happy with the replacement costs and warranties a total rip off. But it's the pictures I hate the most. Seeing those kids in there happy and free. And these are kids that are my age too. I think the main appeal is much like the Mac commercials where they spout their amenities but refuse to state their most blatant and important faults like crappy software compatibility. And the kids are buying into the appeal like it's applesauce because the store itself looks like a heartless steel building that makes it seem so impersonal but finds it easy to hire 20 employees to watch one person and also security wire down all the display products. I guess the store itself has that smooth sexy appeal that people get off of. I guess if I had the money I would trade functionality for style anyday.

I had a dream last night. It was pretty straight forward; I don't think I want to go into details right now anyway.

I was at school and the gyms were open for some testing and this kid was harassing me and  did something to me, I forgot, I think he broke some of my stuff and or punched me in the face. Well After the testing was over I was outside the gym and saw him and started beating the crap out of him because I felt justified but I ended up killing him. This was to be followed up on the cops showing up a few minutes later because of the schools camera systems. I was on trial and I tried to explain how unhappy I was and how this kid had given me shit for so long and no one would help me but the one day I decided to do something he hits his head in the beating and gets killed. No one would sympathize, not the jury, not the judge, not the media, not the cops. Very few people believed me but those people were in no position to help me. I new I would have been executed but they wanted me to know. I told them to do it now but they felt obligated to tell me just what I had did even though  I was set to be killed. I felt like The Stranger

I am becoming familiar with quick tabs on a mack. I am sorta proficient. This makes me want to puke.

I'm doing a far amount of stuff at the moment. But what was brought to my attention was the amount of things I am going and the process in which I am going them. I mean all of it consists of computer work from which I am taking a break from. I noticed that all my work involved little mouse movement; all work is between many windows and clicking song titles to play so it is not complete silence.

Quick tabs. I like them. But when I get to the point where I am proficient enough to not even look and just do it autonimously(spelling? I know it is not right but you know the word I am trying to get at here....). That or all this is a sign of lazyness where I don't want to move my hand about a foot to click a mouse....     

I don't know if I necessarily hang out with girls more often. But aparantly I bring out this so called "Awww Factor" which is emmited when I speak. Not sure exactly what it means really.
Also noteworthy, my ex girlfriend contacted me out of the blue. I don't really know what she wanted in me really. She broke it off with me and was seeing a guy several days before I figured it out and she told me, "We're not going out anymore, George and I are going out. Don't fucking call me again." To my surprise I suppose. I had it coming. In turn I beat the shit out of myself...

I didn't know why she was talking to me either. And I can say I miss her. She anounced it was her because it was under a different screen name anyway. But initially she asked if we were, "Chill." I said yes because I can't harvest lurid feelings for her. We shot the shit for a few lines and then she broke into, "I don't know what to do." I asked what of it and to which she said, "I like miss you and stuff. But I can't have anything to do with you." It is true that her parents hated me. And that, yes she was a few year younger, the real reason was I wasn't what they saw her daughter going out with. I don't look the part ladies and gentlemen. I am skipping some parts because they are meaningless and just take too much space. After a breif line or two she said, "like I realize, well I have always known. But like I need you. I feel bad for saying that. You are just like You. I don't know, sorry this must all sound like shit to you  but whatever." I said it didn't and inquired what she meant when she said "You are just you" and she said "Like you're perfect. I can't explain it so just whatever." I said no it wasn't then she proceded to say that she felt like an asshole for saying all of this and thinking all of this.

"Like you and me had something right?" I told her of course I always thought so. Stephanie began to say "So did I. And my parents obviously didn't approve because you didn't meet their standards  or whatever, so I was kinda, I WAS forced to stop talking to you. Which I didn't want to happen but I knew it would sooner or later. But like I loved you so much. But then I got a boyfriend and like dumped you and like he's not you and how I felt about you I have never felt with anybody else and I don't think I'll ever love someone how I loved you."

I was also quick to note how she usually used "loved." Probably an operator err I guess.

I asked if she still had that letter I gave her. You know that love letter that if adorned with hand written calligraphy and had taken hours of thought and several practices to write it. And then when it was finally completed you dated it and sealed it into an envelope; decorated the envelope with little words of sweetness. She said yes and that she was reading it last night. I was to inquire why she had the letter still to which she said, "because it reminds me of the first time we like got to see each other and that day was perfect until the end."

I then proceded to ask if she was unhappy with this George fellow because I thought she mentioned something earlier about it because of the way she was talking. To which she said, "Kinda. Like I am happy with him but he's not you and I know I'd be happier with you."
Also on the damn myspace scene she says in her about me that she's all happy with him and shit.

~"I am the luckiest person in the world.
Everything has just gotten perfect when you came into my life.
You're all I need, you're all I want, you're perfect, you're cute, you're amazing.
I don't think you know, or anyone else knows how much I love you,
and how much you mean to me. When I'm with you, you make me feel
so un-describingly happy. When I met you my world changed. Nothing else
matters to me except for how much I love you.
I trust you with my life, I'm glad I can tell you anything and feel comfortable.
And I love that we show "too much PDA".
I love you with all of my heart forever George.
We are perfect, and I'm glad I have you. I can honestly say I'm in love. "

I don't know what to take from this? I mean,
1) I suppose I leave a lasting impression on people.
2)Right now my bullshit detectors should be moving, Though not as they should.
3) I feel someone is being lied to and that is probably me.
4)Apparantly she wasn't over me like I was told.
5)Hearts get stepped on. Doc Martens make it worse.

FACT
-We were first together December 10th, 2007. With the utterance of the lines "Will you be my punk Rock Girl?"
-Ended? The Sunday right before Martin Luther King Day
-Who the hell kicks the shit out of themselves? Apparantly me. Scared some people though
-The whole state of it made me sad
-I was the one who inspired her to quite smoking. She said she wanted to make me proud.


I feel like Henry Chinaski. I need a hard drink.
 Make it two.

My temporal band mates and myself have made it to the finals of the school talent show. We performed again yesterday and made it through. It helps that I remembered the lines and as well that I kept on track with the instruments. It was hard the first time we tried because we had only one real practice and that was the day right before the first performance. So it was kinda hard to memorize the lines. We had only two practices  between the last showing and the reaudition.

And again I had my hand recorder with me during the last practice. I recorded a few and compared and saw the difference between the last practice and the first one. It's a Sex Pistols cover, "Sub-mission" sounds pretty snappy I guess. I can email all of you copies if I get your email.

Funny I don't get that hung over feeling. It is a little different then other people I suppose. I actually wake up voluntarely, earlier than I normally would. And I feel a little better in the morning that I would. I don't know if this is a bad thing or a good thing?!?!?!
And I've found that I am fairly self destructive....

Fuck yeah! My friends and I are doing a Sex Pistols cover of Sub-mission. It's today, Wednesday, at 3:30.

Wish us luck. I hope we go through and win that 100 dollars.... It's a school thing.

Some people are happy being sad. They are happy and think of all sorts of scenarios that would go wrong and they are shit for emotions. But they seem content being unhappy.
Could I be one of those people?

I can feel the hard cider sit heavily in my belly.
It brings much joy on cold days like these
And it helps write Christmas greeting cards with a sense of inebriation.

This was a clip from the cartoon short by "GoGo13." It was featured on Yo Gabba Gabba sometime ago. Well it was a nice little toon. Teaching kids the importance of picking up your room and also picking it up at the same time ("Pick it up" a ska phrase meaning to skank basically) So when they say "Pick it up" it means several things. I liked the to watch it on youtube. And I found it on 21deadmonkeys, turning ska into a four letter word, which was for obvious reasons.

Well the video featured a little black girl and a little skinhead boy playing in the room. When all of a sudden the girls dad opened the door and was obviously a Jamaican Rude Boy from speach and dress etc... So they go into a singing number and pick up the room, every once in a while would start skaning in a colored scene.

Unfortunately I tried to watch it on 21deadmonkeys but it wasn't available so I went to youtube. And turns out Viacom didn't allow people to watch it because of some copyright crap.

As if Viacom needs more money, you greedy bastards. I am sure that letting a few videos out every now and then won't get in the way of taking money from the dozens of other big corporations you own. I know they own Comedy Central and I know there are enough idiots to watch it and pour money into it so that is some proof that Viacom obviously owns some sort of food hold in the media.

Well I thought it was a really good video. Teaching little Rude Girls/Boys and skinheads to pick it up at a young age. But I think a little less of it considering the source of funding for the video.

 

So thanks Viacom for taking that simple pleasure away from me because you wanted to save a few bucks in people not watching a clip from you. Well at least they are consistant.

Top ten artists how I see them.

 

Dead Kennedys: What more can you say?

 

 

D.I.: Classic California Punk in a modern day context

 

 

Hub City Stompers: "Got a shiny silver keg and it's as big as a whale and it's full of bass ale! Some Sorority girls, yeah, I count about 20! So come on and don't bring any beer Money!

Well 5:00 and the weekends in sight. But what's to do on a thursday night? 16 skins and a broken down car"

Best Ska/Oi!/ Skinhead band ever

 

 

Adam and the Ants: Beat my Guest

 

 

Tom Lehrer: I just love those effectual little diddies he does.

 

 

TSOL:CODE BLUE!

 

 

Adolescents: "We are scientist in our lair, looking through the microscope.

 

 

The Business: Working class! Oi Oi Oi!

 

 

Vandals: Got a problem? Lose a girlfriend? Just tell them all she's dead... or stalk her.

 

 

Mustard Plug: I like "Gum" "Throw a bomb" and their rendition of "The Freshman" is just plain sad

Today it has come to light that I hate several things. Well more than several, but that's only a fraction of the things. And they go as follows

 

1) Kelly Rippa: I don't know what it is about her. Maybe it's that laugh of hers? Because I like peopels laughs, usually if it's cute or something like that or bellowing. But not hers, hers is piercing. Or maybe that plastered on smile on her face or maybe that false tan.  Or I'm just jealous of her happy disposition.(Reagis Is Another Thing)

 

2)Honny Be Bop: It's a new Toy with a bee theme to it, a little bee circumvents the main box and you jump over it. Kind of like "Kick It." I don't know if any of you remember that from the 80's or 90' (I can't be bothered with research). But it's rediculous. The difference between it and "Kick It" is that you don't attach it to your feet, but you still jump like a moron. At least "Kick It" had cadence to it. It's just stupid. That or my hatred is fueled by my natural fear of bees...

 

3)The New TV Guide. I don't know what is more rediculous. The fact it takes a half hour to find the actual television shows or that they comdined the magazine with a "People" magazine. So not only do I get the show forecast I also get to read about the actors lives.

 

4)The outside: I've only gone outside once in the past 4 days. It's just so clear and unprocessed.

 

5)Highschool: People mainly.

 

6)Lindsay Lohan: I don't like her. Apparantly she just checked out of a rehab center in Utah today or yesterday. Well I thought Utah was a rehad center in itself (haha, mormons?)

 

7)Sweet Pickles: I buy pickles for that bitter pungent taste.

 

8)Stephen King: All Novels are the same. I repeat, all novels are the same

 

9)Girls: Not girls specifically.  And when I say "girls" I mean people. And those people go to school . And chances are they go to my school (see #5)

 

10)Zwinky's: I think that's it, with the avatars and stuff. It's stupid and it gives out pop ups, cookies, computer bugs, and all sorts of nasty computer related things. I think there have been coputers that have crashed due to that sorta thing. And how the hell can they allow Zwinky to run television promotionals on tv? I think there should be something against allowing a website to runs an ad on television if it can potentially give you a virus.

 

That's a short list of some things I hate. I would like feedback, aside from spelling because I know there are some things in there mispelled.

 

But here is a show list of things I do like

1)MRI Scans: I just love them I'll take naps in the tube

 

2)William H. Powell: I just love the thin man series and "My Man Godfry." I did however discover this weekend that there is a connection with the first Thin Man movie and "My Man Godfry" that was probably unintentional in the movie, ask if you want to know

 

3)Red Heads: I just find them attractive. That's all. I mean most I have met had great personalities anyway.

 

4)Tuna(In water): I don't know what it is about it? How I can eat as much and never get sick? Or I can eat it and people get pissed about the smell? But not Tuna in Oil. I made the mistake and bought 25 cans of tuna, 13 were accidentally Oi Tuna...

 

5)Suburbia: Number One Movie Of All Time (Or NOMOAT for short)

 

6)Procrastination: I mean if anything were better then tel....

 

7)Albert Camus: If anyone can write an absurd novel it's this guy. And no one can, well maybe except Kafka.

 

8)Dead Kennedys: Favorite Band of All Time

 

9)Stenciling/Spray Painting: I don't know if it's the fumes or the artwork (and yes I wear a respirator)

 

10)Pennies: It has little to do with their value I suppose. But they are an upside (1 cent I know) but considering no one wants them I get them all. What do I do with them? I horde them and roll them into paper rolls and store them in a burlap bag. Even if they ever go out of currency I can sell them for value of old coins. Or I can sell them for the value of copper and or zinc. Because I know the market for them is going to skyrocket in the near future.

 

That's all I have to say right now. Comments would be nice(if you can produce a comment about these things and I am sure you can)

Your talents beyond Sublime were minimal. But I just saw her rendition of "Oi! To the World" by the Vandals. The music video version! I love the Vandals, all the way from Pat Brown to Mohawk Town and that rendition did no justice what so ever. I happen to think that "Oi! To the World" is one of the Vandals best works but then Gwen messes it up. For one, Haji(spelling) was Hindu, not that it matters and she managed to use Jamaicans... Her wailing of the human vocal cords were, I think, the worst thing about it but somewhat tolerable in Sublime. And I think the fight scene was on a roof during the night, not day time in a dance square... I don't know, too many things wrong with it... mainly her. But I can't go on because I have homework.
Little late to be talking about this but it had to be said sometime by now.

I'm sick of this. I am sick of needing money. I'm sick of trying to find a job. I'm sick of not getting a job. I'm sick of wanting to murder myself for trying to find a job. I'm sick of pressure to cut my mohawk.  It's well over 7 inches by now I suppose.well I guess I would put it down for a job. But not cut it. I could have done it the easy way and taken vast amounts of money from my dad for that then went for a job to get more. But I want the mohawk. And to get gel to constantly put up the mohawk- I can't afford to put it up all the time so it stays down when I can't afford to or the affair is not necessary to the point of being cheap- would be to get a job. And to get a job would mean either keeping the mohawk down or cutting it. Which would defeat that purpose. And I don't really want to work. And I am not expecting anyone to hand me money. That's one thing I will never do, think that the world owes me something.

(Read last entry first)
Continued... As I was saying, she is someone I would want to ask out and date. And this is by no ploy to get laid or any other male tendencies per se. And I do want to ask her out. I talked with my friend Dan about this and he agrees it would be neat to but also stresses it would/ might prove a little difficult to go out with someone that close. Which is true. But I've found it doesn't work as well with someone you don't really know So this proves hard enough as it is, to have to know someone well enough but not know and be too close to them. I mean it's that age old question of "can an inter-gender platonic relationship work?" I don't know if it works or not for a substantial period of time. But I don't want to fall behind and be that guy friend of girls. It's not too bad to say the least but I worry.

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Suggestions/opinions, please?

I've been fine lately. Same old stuff. And I finally got my bike fixed. I paid about 108 dollars to get that thing complete. But to have them tell me the bike has about a year of life left in it. Turns out the drop bar (the part where the crankshaft fits into the frame) has corroded or rusted into the frame itself, So it's unmoveable. Which really gets me cause that's what I get after 4 years of loyal service. But it's a Cannondale, no surprise it's lasted this long. About 20 years old by now. Sad to see it part though. So I'll need another 1,000 dollars to get a new bike that I can really use. That means getting a job... that means putting on socially acceptable clothes.... same amount of showers... but come on it's work?!?!?!

My friend Jessica comes back the 1st of September. That really excites me. She is my closest and dearest friend. And I love her to death. We've acknowledged that we're pretty close, personally and to other people. We've dated other people though, which is fine for me, lest I can find.

Well I know this may or may not sound too funny. But I found it to be hilarious at the time, and still.

I am in summer school because I failed math and also signed up for Health so I don't have to live through it for a whole year. But in health class we talked about stress.suicide and different coping methods. It was an okay class actually.

Anyway on the test there were multiple questions dealing with stress. One question stated "give two unhealthy ways of dealing with stress"
1.(Iforgot what I put)
for the second one (this was the joke) I put."2.Suicide(unless faced with the absurd, haha philosophy joke)"

Now this may sound a little farce. But I found this to be extremely funny. I know suicide is no laughing matter. But it just tickled me in a way you know? But this may not sound funny to most people without a certain level of knowledge I suppose. If you don't get it, then don't worry. It's an absurd thing, you wouldn't get it.